Vulnerable

I believe that it is important for us as Christians to be vulnerable with others as we struggle through life; to not sugar-coat our happenings, to not mask the hurt. Through being honest with our lives, the Lord is lifted high; He receives the credit as we grow and move through life's deserts.

Here is my recent journal entry; a chance to be raw.

I got the call as I was driving home from Dekalb. I was quite strong for the call itself, the ladies gentle voice telling me that I was a strong candidate....just not the one they chose. Disappointment filled my eyes and overflowed into a fountain of tears. "Now what?" was my first thought... I was so sure! I really thought that this was the job the Lord had prepared me for -excitement had even begun to fill my soul.

Slowly my disappointment turned to anger- why Lord would you even take me through this process? Why would you give me hope...to then take it away? Did you not hear my cries? Did you not hear my prayers? I thought you were the God who answered...who gave us the desires of our hearts?

Still today I don't have answers...to be honest, I don't even really feel his whispers, but I know to push forward [such is the Christian life]. I know better than to doubt God's goodness or even His existence; He has carried me through before. I know He is preparing, carving, remolding me for something I have yet to know.

What I do know is that God is faithful to encourage. I stumbled onto Psalms 91; an encouragement to me as I sit in this valley.

~The Lord is my refuge.
~He is my shield.
~I will not fear.
~His angels will guard me.
~I am not forgotten!