I walked into church last week trying to sneak in without getting caught by the greeter. I really hate forced conversation, but the ambitious greeter found me and handed me a piece of paper with a word on it. Every week they hand out slips of papers, most of the time there is a verse on it. This week it was just one word with the definition on it.
NEW
I glanced at it and knew immediately that this word was meant for me.
I found a seat in the back of the room and began to really study the word.
"New: recently born, built, or created"
I thought about how the next day I was starting a NEW job, a new teaching endeavor. I thought about how I'm nervous and excited. Hesitant and scared to fail . Reserved and cautious. To be honest, more of me was feeling apprehensive instead of excited and passionate.
"New" -It's such a beautiful word that offers so much potential, but for me, in that moment, it was a word that stirred up fear more than potential. What if I fall on my face? Fear. What if I suck? Fear. What if "new" means changes that I don't like? Fear. And my mind continued to run in a million different directions, as it always does.
Later in the week I was driving to school; it's a little commute, so I had time to think and pray. I was feeling overwhelmed and so I found myself thinking, "God, I don't know that I've got this. I don't know what's in front of me and that freaks me out. I have so many things to work on and trust you with.... I'm not good at this."
I looked out over the open fields where the sun was peeking over the horizon. The sun was enormous and beautiful. It was bright orange because of all the forest fire smoke in the valley. Suddenly it came to me,
"You are being made NEW every day. It's part of growing up. It's a good thing, not something to be feared. It means that you are growing, changing, living, learning, being built and created. Embrace NEW. You want to be NEW, Sheila." God has a way of doing that -slapping me over the head with obvious truth that somewhere along the road I've forgotten. New isn't to be feared, it's to be celebrated!
So I'm going to embrace NEW this year. It's going to be my theme for the year (in and outside of my classroom). I mean what can it hurt? If I become a newer, better version of Sheila than it is worth it. God is trying to make me new every day, why not lean into it...
...really, Sheila, with God making you new, the potential is endless....and it's going to be beautiful...
as it is for all of us.
