I was sitting in my first master's class. I fidgeted with my pencil, pulled out my paper and adjusted in the most uncomfortable, padded seat. I looked around the room making mental notes about the other students. Yes, I'm the type who makes quick assumptions about others and tries to size up the room for the soul purpose of seeing where I fall into the mix; leaving my huge insecurities bleeding all over the desk in front of me.
"You are here because you are interested in starting your own private practice business," said the professor.
Um.... no.... I'm here for the play therapy class, I thought.
Apparently the class title and what the professor was planning to teach were two very different things.
I started classes to pursue a masters in counseling; my first adult step forward in about 10 years. I'm not positively convinced this is the road for me, but I also know I can't just keep doing the same old. I know it's time for me to take a step forward and this is the only step I want to take right now. I think. Maybe.
Awesome, I'm taking a course I should probably be taking at the end of my school career, I thought as the professor continued to mumble something about private practice, of which I didn't understand. I looked around to see if anyone else was just as lost as me but, of course, it was just me. I settled into my seat, quickly realizing it was going to be a long weekend. Ugh.
Later in the evening the professor began talking about dreams. "Why do you want to open up your own business? Why do you want to counsel children, individuals and families? If nothing was stopping you, what would you want to do with your time and energy? Write down your thoughts. Don't let your pencil stop you. You are the only one who can stop yourself. The time is now to turn those has been dreams into reality."
As I looked down at my pencil and paper, a moment flooded over me. It was this moment of realization that I am an adult right now. (Duh!) I do have the potential to complete school and open up a business and do what I love to do. (Duh!) I am no longer a child in waiting or a teenager in training. I am here. I am an adult. It is time. I've dreamed of getting my master's degree and now here I am, sitting in this seat, doing what I thought I would do... someday.
Now, I do realize how basic all of this sounds, but have you ever stopped and really realized the time is not in the past or what's to come, but the time is now!? Cliche, I know, but true nonetheless. Is it just me or do you ever feel like you are just a big-little kid masquerading through life waiting for the real act to start? Like all we do is play house and work and somehow we keep waiting for the real life to settle in. Except it's here -this is the adult life we've been waiting for. It's right now.
Maybe I'm the only one stuck in a Peter Pan kind of syndrome.
Don't get me wrong. I know why I avoid all responsibilities of adulthood. It's easier to live for the adventure, not thinking about tomorrow. It's easier to spend the money today rather than save for tomorrow. It's easier eating the delicious dessert and promising to work it off tomorrow. I want to live in the comfortable life of today; it's easier this way. However, I'm learning that easy doesn't always mean it's the best for me.
Suffice it to say, thanks to the class I wasn't expecting to take, I'm starting to realize that I can't keep living so close to Never Never Land. Now is the time to start making dreams, real dreams that I've always had, come true.
What dreams do you have? You know, the kind that keep getting put off for when you are a real adult with real money and real potential?
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