Bare Faced and 33

Dear 33,

You don’t look how I imagined you would, but then again, I don’t know that I actually imagined 33. When I was a kid, I imagined the teen years, the 20 somethings, and maybe even 30, but after 30 the picture got dark and fuzzy. Too far off and too hard to put into clarity.

The first picture of 33. Unedited. Bare face and all.

Now you are here and this is what you look like. Bare faced and 33. Can I just say that you look young! I’m a little surprised. I would of guessed 33 to look a lot older. Those eyes though, the window to all. I see the age starting to creep into them. A few wrinkles settling around those blue windows. Yes, you may look young, but no longer youthful. You wear a smile on your face; a genuine one too. Yet, you look like you have a few stories to tell: places you’ve been, people you’ve met, heartbreak, and perseverance. You have walked a few roads and are smarter for it, but I wonder if there are a few cuts and bruises that you wear close to your soul.  Perhaps you have learned from the cuts and bruises, but maybe you haven’t. Maybe you just think you have.

I write to you, 33, because I don’t really know you yet.  This is me reaching into the unknown and asking for you to be good to me. I’m sure we will get to know each other well over the year. We will have good times and bad. I expect you to teach me new things and I hope I will lean into you and let you teach me. Often I’m so stubborn that I dig my feet into the soft soil and refuse to learn the lessons of the ages. I hope I grow wiser than that this year.

Just between you & me, these are a few things I want to learn from you, 33:

• How to live well in this adult world. I often feel like just a little child disguised as something bigger.
• to pay bills on time. Yeah, I get distracted by more exciting things in the world.
• to change my bike tire. This would alleviate a little bit of worry every time I want to go for a bike ride. I’m a big girl. I should be able to do this.
• to be a good student again. Grad school is coming. It’s unavoidable.
• to eat a well balanced diet. I’m an adult but I love sugar. It gravitates to me. It’s sugar’s fault! It’s certainly not my own.
• to enjoy coffee more! Is this even possible?
• to be a more understanding teacher. I always need this lesson in my life.
• to write more. To write well and uninhibited. I’m not sure why I keep coming back to this, but it’s something I know I need in my life.
• to be a more in touch friend. The older I get, the more “in my own world” I get. I hate that! I need people!
• to LOVE the ones I love harder! Stronger! Better! I need love in my life. I want to be a better lover.
• to forgive myself and those I love over and over again. Really, what is life without forgiveness?
• to trust Jesus more. Trust is a hard thing for me.
• to experience more sunsets
• to sing more songs at the top of my lungs
• to dance more in the kitchen when I cook. Yes, this means I need to cook more.
• to laugh everyday
• to embrace the moments where I want to cry. Crying is good!
• to give more hugs and kisses.
• to look at the stars every night.
• to pray more.
• ……………..

The list could go on and on.

I’m sure some may look at this list and wonder what I’ve done with the first 30 years of my life. I should have learned a few a these lessons by now, but honestly, the older I get, the more I realize the less I know and the more I need to learn.

I guess you have a lot to teach me, 33. Cheers to you & me, I think we have quite the year ahead of us!

XOXO,

She