Now here I am 35 weeks later. 4 weeks left of school! I can't believe how fast the school year has gone. Truly. There have been some exhausting weeks and evenings. Hard conversations with students and teachers. Battles. Wars. Feelings of helplessness. Then there is the good, too; smiles and laughs, good discussions, and times of transparency.
In the end, this is what I've learned:
1) Sleep. Sometimes this is the most important thing you can do for yourself. For me, this was the difference between crazy and insane. In today's, "get more work done" mentality, we have learned "Productivity!" It's preached over and over... but honestly, sometimes sleep is THE MOST productive thing you can do for yourself. It is self care.... and it keeps you (me) from going insane. I've learned to embrace my sleep and make it a serious priority. While my students may love Zombie teacher, I sure don't.
2) Lean into the awkward. We are a kind of people that hate to feel awkward. We speak it out loud when we feel it.... so as to make it less "awkward." How many times have you been in a conversation when there is a small pause so someone says, "awkward"? As if somehow speaking out loud the awkward breaks the awkward. One thing my middle schoolers remind me of every day is that we ARE awkward. Middle schoolers are more awkward at that time of life (trust me, I see it every day!), but really... WE are just awkward people. I've watched kids try and fight their awkwardness but, it makes them more awkward. So all this to say, embrace your awkward self, awkward moments, and don't try and cover them up by saying "awkward". Just lean into it and see what funny moments come. Usually, it's those moments that draw us all a little closer together.
3) Hard Sucks. But it's Good. Every teacher on the face of the earth can relate to me when I say that teaching is hard work. It drains you emotionally, physically, mentally, and the list goes on. I'm sure that is to be said for most jobs. In middle school, the hard moments just look a little different. Snot on desks. The question: "Why?" over and over and over and over again. Blank stares. The statement: "I don't get it." My voice on repeat all day long. You get the idea. I feel like I come home often praying that I have made a difference that day. Then I get to the end of the year and look back on all the growth in my students and I realize, the fight for good is always worth it. People are worth it! It's hard, but it's good. Isn't it so true that the hard always makes it that much better? All I am saying is press through because there is beauty in every hard thing.
4) Love. This last lesson is by far the greatest lesson I learned this year. WE all just need a little love. I had so many conversations with students this year about how they feel like no one cares. Blame it on social media, culture, America, whatever you think, but I truly believe that kids feel more isolated than they ever have before. Kiddos walk into my class and they are broken little people that don't know how to love because they haven't been shown it. I have been reminded many times this year that no one wants to be given up on. We all want to be loved no matter how many times we mess up or don't give love back. We all just want to feel like someone knows us so give it back, even when it hard or awkward, or even when it's the last emotion felt.
Plus, to be cheesy, I totally believe that LOVE changes the world!
It is pretty incredible what little, tweener middle schoolers teach me every year and it's even more incredible how middle school is the training ground for real life. Really, we are all just big middle school kids trying to do the best we can in this playground of life.
