Granted, there is this anticipation in waiting like when a little kid has to wait weeks on end before opening up a Christmas gift. The waiting, starring, and shaking of the box makes the gift that much bigger and better once it is finally opened. Then there are other times when waiting keeps you up at night and turns your stomach into knots. It's not the kind of waiting that sits in the pit of your stomach like eager butterflies anxious to flutter away. Instead it's the "I'm going to be sick" kind of waiting. You think, God, I hope you've got this because I'm not sure what I'm going to do if you don't. Yet even still, deep down in the deepest part of you, you know he does have it and so you keep waiting... for something, anything.
I think that is what I've watched my dad go through in the last few months. Waiting. At times I'm sure he was the anxious little kid waiting to unwrap his Christmas gift and then there were other times when the "I'm going to be sick" feelings started to creep in. To be honest, I watched nervously wondering when he would crack but instead he just kept waiting.
"Wait, it's August and you need a job by the end of the month?! What are you going to do? What's your plan B, dad?" I asked.
He always replied, "I have no plan B." Even in the midst of his uncertainty, he was certain that God had it figured out.
And of course, God did.
Like he always does when you trust Him and let go.
The present might not look the way we expected it to. Sometimes the present is smaller, more fragile. Other times we look at it and we think, how am I ever going to use this? I don't need this! But even after we unwrap it, whether it is exactly what we hoped for or not, we know in the pit of our stomach that somehow it will be exactly what we will need and we will know when to use it. We just have to figure out how to let go of what we hoped for and embrace what we have been given.
My dad let go of what he thought his life was supposed to look like; how he imagined career choices would turn out. He let God do his thing and of course, right on time God gave my dad a job that is a perfect fit for him. He just had to wait.... and let go...
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| Love you, Dad. I'm excited to see how God will use you in this next adventure! |
Goal:
What is one thing in your life that you expected or hoped would be different?
(Motherhood, adult friendship, finances, career choices, marriage, God, feeling alone, etc.)
Let go of what you hoped for...
And challenge yourself to love what you are given.
and if you are waiting...
remember, the waiting makes the gift that much better.
and if you are waiting...
remember, the waiting makes the gift that much better.
4 comments:
Great thoughts, thanks!
Our Father will bless your father because of his faithfulness and obedience and because He is Faithful and Good.
There is always light at the end of every tunnel.
What did I hope or expect to be different in life? Ha ha! So many things. 1) I wanted to marry young and have 5 kids before thirty. God, in his wisdom has given me four beautiful children by the age of 33. I don't know if there will be more or not. 2) I wanted to marry Chris Krupa. We were engaged and broke off our engagement. After a LONG year of God working in our individual lives, He brought us back together and a year later we were married. 3) Being married to a firefighter, I thought I'd see LOTS of him. He works 24 hours on, and is off for 48 hours. Home for 2 whole days!!! Or so I thought. Instead, the first several years he was forced to work overtime that second day or he'd be so tired from working all 24 hours that he'd come home and sleep the first day away. Then several years ago he added a seasonal job that he works on the second day off. Then add a house to fix and kids to care for and THAT IS NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR! 4) Children. They are a wonderful gift, but they, also, are not what I expected. They require way more physical and emotional energy than I could have ever imagined. I'm dead tired at the end of the day. Happy, but beat. Add to that a child with ADHD. Sometimes I feel like I am beating my head against a wall with her. I tell her the same thing day after day but she has to test the boundaries every single time. She has so much energy and right now, she is in a hyper state and our house is chaos. I never expected to have to deal with that, but it is the challenge that God has placed before me and I want to be faithful in it.
I feel like so many times God sends us down a certain path. We can see the end and so we head off with gusto. However, the end is not where God is taking us. This path is just part of the journey. We travel it so we can connect to another path, one we cannot see. Somethings in life are for a short season, only there to prepare us for something much different. I think life and expectations are usually different than we assume them to be. God cares so much more about us trusting Him and becoming like Him than he does about where we live, what job we take or what things we buy. But we get caught up in those little things. We hang on to our expectations with an iron fist. I have learned that if I can change my expectations about life, usually making them realistic instead of idealistic, then I am more able to enjoy life. I can see the blessings in the trials. I can celebrate in the mundane.
I hope I'm not stealing your thunder. Expectations and life are a topic I ponder often. Ann Voskamp's book, 1000 Gifts, is a good read on that topic.
Thanks for bringing this up, Sheila. Love you. ~Heather Krupa
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