Dear Gratitude...

Dear Gratitude,

You and I have had quite a few ups and downs over the course of the year. There have been many times where you and I have been in agreement and a lot of other times where we have been at odds. Yet even in my stubborn tantrums, unwilling to acknowledge you, you have always been steadfast. Do you remember the times where friends have moved on and yet I remain? You reminded me to give thanks because new friends were bound to come. What about when it was time to make a shift in my career? You reminded me that I was still well taken care of. Remember our trip to the Philippines? You smacked me over the head, "Hello Sheila, your life is beautiful!" Or what about the times where I was unsure what road to take? You were there to remind me that God was faithful in the past and he will direct my path in the future.

You were a constant whisper during some of the most difficult times. You've taught me that no matter what highs or lows come, life is endurable, even enjoyable, with you by my side. Peace flows from you; hope and love are your friends. Life is well lived in your company. You are as faithful as a sunrise or sunset. You bring color to my black and white. You bring life to the dead.

So on this Thanksgiving day, thank you, gratitude. Please always be near and may I never forget the power of your friendship in my life.

Sincerely,
S

... Keeping me up.

Writing, specifically blogging, has been on my mind lately. (It really has been far too long since my last post.)

I'll have a thought that will wake me up in the middle of the night and then I think, "you should blog about that", but the next morning I wake up and the thought is gone. I know that it means that I'm stuck in my head again; ideas, worries, hopes, all swirling around at odd hours of the night. I'm sure this has happened to you once or twice. For me, I find that writing is the best way to get it all out.

So I guess I'll just consider this a "dump" post; dump all my thoughts onto this page. (Maybe if I dump it all into this writing then they won't wake me again. ...A girl can hope at least.)

So here it goes. Thoughts or questions that run through my head... keeping me up late at night:

1) How do we know if we are doing what we are suppose to (career wise)? Do we ever really find the "right" career or job that fits us perfectly?

2) God, do you hear me? I know you are there, but why are you so quiet?

3) Love. It's beautiful and hard all at the same time. Why do we hurt the people we love the most? Why do we give up so easily? If it is so beautiful, why do we let the selfish fighting get in the way? It seems like we lose sight of the beautiful so quickly.

4) Should I buy a house or keep renting? "Stick it to the man" Buy!... but wait, buying a house is so much of a commitment and responsibility.

5) And why is commitment so hard for some of us? ...To commit to a future and be sure of it while others fear they may miss out on something better if they settle for the present.

6) Most of all, God, can you help me to let go of what I can't control and help me to not worry about what you already have planned? Can you help me to trust?

Perhaps you've had similar questions and thoughts keep you up at night.
I'm curious, do you eventually find answers? and if you do, do you find that another series of questions slowly start creeping in?