Weak or Strong

I knew this man who took pride in being strong. He would often say in a strong, unwavering voice, "Don't be weak." As if he was reminding himself just as much as he was demanding it of me.Yet, I always sensed that underneath it all, he was simply scared that if he let down his guard he would crumble. As if he knew that if he let himself have a moment of weakness, he would shatter into a million pieces and he would never be able to put himself back together. It was almost as if fear was what kept him strong.

I suppose in this man's eyes I would be considered weak. Really, if I'm honest, I am. I can't open a silly jar of jam. I can barely bench press the weight of the bar and I always cry when I see a Folgers commercial. You know, the commercial when the brother comes home for Christmas after serving overseas. He sneaks into the house and brews a pot of coffee to wake up the family. The sister runs down the stairs in anxious anticipation and it's right as they hug and the Folgers music begins to play that I always lose it. I am weak and I can't fight it. Anyway, it's ironic because as much as this man fought to be strong (and he did a great job of it), you could always see it in his eyes. You could see that he was tired of being strong and that, so badly, he wanted to let weakness overtake him for just a moment because being strong was exhausting.

The scary thing about weakness is that it makes us vulnerable. We think that weakness opens the door for more hurt and pain and yet, I wonder if it does just the opposite. Perhaps weakness teaches us about strength. Perhaps weakness is strength. Maybe as we fight to be strong, we are missing out on all that weakness has to offer. Perhaps it opens the door to beautiful friendship, allows for God to work in ways that we could never imagine, and offers us rest that strength will never be able to offer.

As I think about the beauty that weakness may offer, it makes me want to embrace it all the more.  Even if it means that the Folgers commercials will continue to get me every time.